The late Zimbabwe ex-President Robert Mugabe (1924-2019) will be remembered for his great wit and his colorful language. Here are some of his famous punchlines:
THE WITTY PRESIDENT
- “When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don’t take a goat as a friend.”
- “If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty.”
- “When one’s goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbor’s soup gets suspicious.”
- “Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.”
- “Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on, rather than send it to your Mom, and you realize witchcraft is real.”
- “If President Barack Obama wants me to follow marriage for same-sex couples, in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.”
- “Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled into a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.”
- Interviewer: “Mr. President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?” Robert Mugabe: “Where are they going?”
- “Racism will never end as long as white cars are still using black tires; If people still use black color for bad luck and white for peace; If people still wear white clothes to weddings and black clothes for funerals; As long as those who don’t pay their bills are blacklisted and not “whitelisted.” … But I don’t care as long as I still use the white tissue paper to wipe my ass! With that only, I will always be very fine.”
- “No African girl will choose six packs over six cars…So stop going to the gym and go to work!”
- “How do you convince the upcoming generations that education is the key to success when we are surrounded by poor graduates and rich criminals?”
- “If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would have been in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.”
- “A person can love you and still cheat, just like we love God and still sin.”
- “It’s better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a church thinking about beer.”
- “Being kissed does not mean you are loved, ask Jesus about Judas.”
